This site constructed by
Richmond, VA 23235
products and images on this website (photos, drawings, graphics
paintings, poems & music, unless otherwise specifically
labeled ) are the
creations of and therefore legal intellectual property of
JIMMY WARNER DESIGN,
sponsored by Stargrate Brand Knob
When you really want bright knobs
(Interactive research material for people who
written a poem and maybe shouldn't: the links will take you
similar that I did write.)
Things you or I may or may not write about this year include:
TV: Spit-bowl of the snail gods
Craprica- "We're all going to change"
Apotheosis "Dolts to Gods"
Lord of the sweaty wads, spiral of the
How to turn congealed brain waste
Why the 50's shows are still super
Why talking fast will make you feel
Infinity and the Trek Left behind in the
Cartoons and the Isolated Uber Dweeb
Disney couldn't draw but he built
The 2012 Hopi changy thingy
And now a word from Knob Wax...
Look what that frak wad did to my
On our way to a
star dot bar grill
Dueling Blast-berries with mother of
Self-importance the hard way
Poetry: The art of spiritual cavity-search
The art of not writing FOR anybody
The art of Saturday cartoons for adults... oh wait,
adults still watch Saturday cartoons all week long.
The art of deflecting soporific influences
The art of getting past "Dullen" Thomas
The art of pub crawling villanelles on cocktail napkins
The art of getting your wad's worth
The art of developing your Longfellow
The art of resurrecting the drop-dead boring
The art of astral garage parking (ticket validation)
The art of
exploring America's failure to thrive
The art of birthdeathsexreligionpoliticsmoney...
The art of illuminating your non-self-importance
The Internet: Invisible ink
Whirls of strangeness in the cyber rubble
Why dolts make good cyber-heroes
Infinity for the homebound
"Sloppy Searches" for dolts
Bing til you boing
Proving the deeply weird next to impossible
Distributing Knob Wax, made EZ
Plight of the "Feeling-Lucky" junkies
Not your Avg hoarders on Smoky Weed Rd.
Frog quashing made simple even a schoolboy...
The non-stick surface of humanity
Places where anyone can be self-Important
Thunder and Music: How to name new bands e.g.
Bean Soup for the Soul
Want Chianti with that?
and the Sky Nukes
Black and Blue Checkered Past
Pukki & The Pod Loads
Knob Wax College Dropouts
Bing Bot and the Botlets
Fast Talk and the Frakers
Live Loose and Guzzle
Fric Wad and the Frakers
Knobby and the Knee Jerks
Squeeze My Phasor
No Self Importance
One note stand
Hiding your light in a saxophone
Polishing scales in devil's mode (Locrian)
Woodshed moment, woodpile desire
Help, I'm playing flat and I can't lip up
So, how's your Sax Life?
Composition goes hand in hand
Slick Trails in the Sunset
Slimy Trails to you Until We Meet Again
Tell it like it's Dmitri's Ninth
Music therapy, is that like psycho-drama?
Developing your inner sax quash alert
Finger foods, monopod hors d'oeuvres wet
pallets from across the room like eating
in front of trumpet players
He's flat Jim
Visual Arts: Doodling your date on a cocktail napkin
Pretending to live in a garret
Preserving the "struggle" in your work
Choosing a direction
Killing your babies
Culture, instinct and the universal idea
Clouds in your coffee
Overcoming beret wearing affectations
Realizing the unimportance of a totally selfish act
Painting with toothpaste and jam
Shleemax After Dark (a spiraling saga of flesh)
She sat shucking snail shells on the sea floor
My wax is hotter than your girlfriend's, she snarled
I quashed the saxman, but I did not flash the flautist too
Que-que? No mas tangos-para-tres en plantas slick
Typical, pissing in the tavern, crying in the jail. Well
Margarita's a cool drink, but she needs a boss wrangler
So, there you sat, stroking your inner dweeb
Ah, t'is more blessed to write than to weep and
More importantly your cactus will bear sweet fruit
The frak does that mean?
Cluster Frak: They were worse off BEFORE the disaster
Fast talk in the face of adversity
Handwriting analogies about reading the wall
Too poor to fail, too hoarse to wail
Solomon couldn't read but he built nice temples
Slinky lips sink ships, don't cha know
Cracked China Policy they insinuated...
Chairman Dung's, "What's so bad about that?"
Red sky at sunset, snailor beware...
Toilets without borders (that ain't rain)
Hoarders without weed
My, how tragedy improves with
Failure to Thrive: Too oily to fail
Too slimy to fail
Too molecular thin filmed to fail
Too top skimming to fail
Too one-hand-washes-the-other to fail
Too tax cream cheesy to fail
Too long chain molecule to fail
Too deep river fish kill to fail
Too snail slick gulf choked to fail
Too Hitler's birthday snoring to wake up
Too late for another Michael Moore movie
where individual self-importance is rendered
Zero Gravity: Legs, can't orbit with em, can't leave earth
Pinwheel sex, centripetal frak
Totally tango skills required
The importance of remaining zero
Docking maneuvers we'll never forget
My mile posts are getting rickety
Everything sticks together in space
Just change the gravitational constant
By the time I get to Phloston I'll be soaking
Pulling your leg, It's beyond important
To write plot lines in your virtual bathtub
To earn drool cup rewards online
To attain nano-punk status online
To personalize your sex-bot online
To combine words with "WAD" effectively
To improve your deep sea
To be one foot flatter than a floosie
To impress the sax player in the band
To diet using Slimakteca frige mag insults
To take leave of your
Science Fiction: "I'm not the ONE, but I stayed at a Quality... "
"Gosh, wow, golly frak..."
"We're gonna quaaaaash..."
"Up ahead, there's a line, I predict
you're gonna cross it."
I have a bleem
"You canno’ change the laws of physics"
By the time we get to Phloston
the bong I bought on Bing
The import of Sci-fi is not the science but the
luster of it's shiny, non-stick surfaces
Not so nouveau empire, strides backless
It's too Capricorn to fail
Religion: Tell me about the Rabbis George
Ammonites, the fossil record
Hymns for the saxophone
Spirituality and the six-pack shopper
Dialing for souls, bobbing for bucks
Give me that on-screen religion
Church of the Holy Moose Lodge (true story)
Pages ripped from the sticky hymnals of
the balcony section
Forsaking the religion of self-importance
Did I say camel?
Global Warming: I'm not the one not listening.
Don't be fooled by cheap smudge wipes
Knob Wax is GREEN (purple actually)
"We're all going to change, aren't we?"
By switching your knob wax...
Everyone can make a difference
Set Lasers on fun not pilots
Live long and melt
Phloston, Phloston, next stop...
Sex: The raw nerve endings of perpetuity
One @-a-boy, two
atavistic man-cave hi-fivers
Slipping farther, the
truth about pimples
Butterflies are a warning
I am your father (heavy
Love means never having
to say goodnight
How to think beneath
I left my heart in the
He did but she didn't
fraking want to
Less Napoleonic, more
Self-Importance", For Dolts
Nostalgia: When hot wax was a pepper, not foreplay
I remember growing up with Knob Wax
If you have the floor, own it, don't mop it
I dreamed I went to the prom in my Klondike
dance hall costume.
Learning to play "Let's All Meet at da Crawdad Hole"
Death: It’s worse than that, he’s dead Jim
There is another
Too gangrene to fail
May the floss be with you
The heartbreak of non-stick-to-it-iveness
If I can't squeeze my phasor...
Your jokes are lost on him
Knob Wax wants you to know...
Scorpios are too deadly to die
Like walking in your undertude
Alcohol: Drink deep and die well
Your wagon will be here in 5 minutes, Sir...
It's early padded cell design
There's something in the wine
Just two drinks and we're on our way
Your saxophone stinks
I just waxed it
Let's go over to Urda's Well, Frigga's place...
Frak this place!
Alcohol and music are the Devil's napkin
Are you hearing all this? Jim? JIM!
News: The only people who think the world IS serious
self-important live long and floss
Horn-sign candor, live long and philander
Resurgence of Edwardian Kink has long puzzled...
Fashion is spinach
Euro-speak is too modern to fail
So, who's the lucky dolt this year?
This just in, they're too important to prosper
Feel-Good Hunting: What ruined the wiener-roast
What the cop felt
What makes galactic acid?
What kills the thrill of saying
whatever comes over you?
What is bed knobs, bath and behind?
What makes you so fraking important?
Good Luck Hunting: Get the search engines and we'll head em
off @ the pass... Word, kimosabe.
Meanwhile, back @ the franchise
Bright knobs and candlesticks
When the blue of the goo meets the purple...
You can't always get what's important
Tarot Cards: Reading for fun and prophesy
If I have a card stuck to my head it's not Tarot
Would you like a lap dance with that?
You just polished off your last tequila
Dealing the Dolt card, advice is sticky
Future card - You're gonna pay for dat
Fear not, it's never too drunk to fail
Others see you as too poetic to make any sense.
If you're hoping for change, don't
The outcome is icky
Advertising: Live Long and Foster
Online banking @ wad-over-ya
You know that bailing out is hard to do
Yeah but they've got my house!
15 minutes of darkness will save you...
Bright Knobs make excellent stocking stuffers
"Snailing is murder", was scrawled in slime
It's too brass knuckle to fail
It's just the importance of being important
Who's loose in YOUR neighborhood?
How to make authentic footprints
Using snow to your advantage
Who says you have to vandalize?
Things to leave behind on porches
What's the big honking hairy deal?
All it needs is a convincing odor
Leave sax quashing to the pros
Magic Molecules: The makers of knob Wax announce
The discovery of Shleemax, the miracle
Ingredient made from snails, brighten
All your knobs with one powerful shine.
Our Ultimate Protection Guarantee
100% Satisfaction Or Money Back!
Too new and improved to fail
War and Rumors:
Like a limestone caveman...
Polishing the brass with Knob Wax
Saxophone marching corps
Maintaining all its buttons
Shock troops quash rebellions
Snail wars, no end in sight
They're making money off dead poets?
Musician bashing, not just for cocktail hour
Fishing for avatars, typical INFP
Why it is impossible to keep off the grass in other
Paper training isn't
Silence of the breathing
The cold spoon of
Overcoming the Vulcan
hand sign thingy
breathing for Dolts
Not giving a frak
The snail goes in and out
of her shell
Life after Knob Wax
Delacroix's painting: Jimmy Expiring on the Ruins of Himself
Frak you, frak on me, I mean, frak me when, you
know, frak on somebody else and you're the xo and don't know what
you're fraking saying... so, go on live, fork fingered and
flustered, a frak wad, brain wasted, sax quashed, Uber horn-blown
knob wax polishing idiot...chief of snails, seeker of wild nightlife
and Miller moon-girls who dance threesome... but can't help you with
sci-fi fantasies without falling up in the table for four... green
make-up all over the guy in booth 12..." I'm a sax player not a
musician", he said and gulped a glass of bright goo the bartender
said was a Vegan Mind Mulch. Then twisting around said, "The FRAK be
with you..." (makes the horns sign before corkscrewing into the
black and blue checkered tile floor)
see my comments
the new and improved lamajimbu (INFPgw)
Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
©Jimmy Warner Design, 2013
6 E Broad St.
BEND YOUR EAR archived
1 thru 27
Kyoti's Rocky Mountain Reader
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2000 - 2008