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Jimmy Warner's


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challenging, edgy, gutsy, turgid writing for the naughty aughties

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APRIL 2011
National Poetry Month

Another Spilled Ink Poetry Session

index revised: things I didn't write (2001)

 (Interactive research material for people who have never written a poem
 and maybe shouldn't. The links will take you to something similar that I did
 write. More links are being added as NaPoMo progresses.)

  Brought to you by Shock-Wad Video
  When you need an overnight digital success

 Things you or I may or may not write about this year include:

 The Remedial News:
                    An overnight digital success, Dig it all!  

                    Listening with the sound off
                    Follow the not so dripping wet maiden
                    I'm waving my shoes in the air
                    It's a Melodic Egyptian minor
                    Don't make fun of my Sputnik moment 
                    You're talking to the wrong chimera
                    Now for the less profitable news
                    Gimmie that Square jawed leadership
                    Straining to find the deeper meaning
                    Make room for someone else's headline
                    We turn now to the spoof news
                    Rev. Billy's church of stop shopping
                    Switch to the slang news
                    This just in, Jesus is coming, look busy
                    Airstrike leadership on the rise 
                    And now for the Freaking News 

 Top 20 Places not for building nuclear reactors:
                    The ring of fireworks  
                    The naked city
                     Banana land  
                     Camel dung provinces
                     Cascadia subduction zone
                     San anything
                     Sacred ancient burial grounds 
                     Valleys of the mythological
                     Near earth orbit
                     Falling rock zones
                     Deep ocean trenches 
                     Thirty yards offshore
                     A no-fly zone
                     A shoo-fly zone
                     A flying shoe zone
                     A waving shoe zone
                     Shoes falling off the shelf zone 
                     The other shoe drop zone
                     audio mp3 Oct. poetry tasting

 Ass Hat's Anonymous:
                    Your top of the loin
                    Porn Sunday for porn again Christians
                    Where's the line of death?
                    Next to the line of coke
                    The beat box cathedral hour
                    Born again sax
                    Youthful code-speak rewrite gospel
                    The slang Bible, work of the hay devil 
                     Don let my peeble go
                     Where's my line of clothing?
                     The new rules for April fools
 Relive the Voyage:
                    Learning Tamarian 
                    Welcome digital burnouts
                    Achieving in retirement what you never aspired to
                    Darmok and Jilad at Bengazi *
                    Naked launch, their bare sterns shining
                    Shaka, where Wall Street fell
                    Jet in a fisted glove

post mortal apologies, I had no inkling of what was to come.

 Alas Poor Urea, Acidosis Anyone?:
                     If I'm pre-diabetic is it ok to poke fun at my islets?
                     Your islets are laced with rum 
                     Brought to you by broad beam
                     The pharmacology of D life blues
Άσκληπιός unbound, 13, the secret sign
                     Ophiuchus wrestles a cosmic pancreas                     
                     A walk in thoracic park
                     "Make that a wonder dog w/ extra wonder"
                     The kiss of corn candy death
                     The heartbreak of cake-ippotomy 
                     Weakening stream of consciousness  
 Budget Cuts:
                     The coldest cut of all
                      Brought to you by Jaw Drop Audio Visual
                      Missiles, planes and bombs, oh my 
                      Welcome back Salisbury steak
                      You mean Steak-Umms
                      Don't cut my whiskey!
                      Bake sale economy  
                      Empty cookie jars to the horizon  
 The 12 Beer Job:
                      Is it Beer Thirty yet?
                      Post-it - Call in sick, make up illness
                      Goin' down the road feelin' numb
                      Cruisin' on fake serenity 
                      With a Slurpee cup disguise
                      It's tap house, bubble bar and break room pm
                      Does it come with a lap dance?
                      No, just the yard of ale sprint
                      Not the tequila naval maneuver again!

 Things You Can Always Try:
                     The Mussolini chin pose
                     The Gadhafi line in the sand threat

                     The ole egg in your beer comeback
                      Hawking nasal speaking   
                      Posing naked in a suede shirt 
                      Toning down your smiling muscles 
                      Stuff sitting on shelves since Wendell Wilke
                      Journaling nano urges on FB
                      An Edwardian waist size 
                      Instant Vajazzle kit 
 Drive-by Drinkers:
                     Celebrate life's most primitive rituals
                     Hang out till there are no dry carpets
                     A vague diagnosis from your bing bot MD
                     No Officer, just bar stool dizzy 
                     New Year's lightheaded resolution  
 Caught Between:
                     The stinger and the arrow
                     A Surrender doll and a tool babe classic
                     Stripper features and Edwardian kinky 
                     Garden vs. naked foot path 
                     The grotto water and the monkey mime
                      Four marriages and a killing
                      A dork and a cork
                      Less ire and more Celtic wisdom
                      A gum smacker and eucalyptus breath  
                      Running sores and wicked leaks
                      Disbelief (awe) and Shock-wad video                     
 Drafting room Humor:
                     Do you drop that as a rule?  
                     Can you draw that in perspective?
                     Move it over one RCH and ship it
                     Cut to fit, beat to suit
                     Leavin' at five... half a day?
                     Are you going to darken that in?
                     How long have you been drafting?
                     What time is it?
                     Is it always this dark in here? 
                     It's gonna smoke 

What's The Situation:
                     It's not a global lamp shade anymore 
                     Cast those voyeur tweets
                     The big screen says you're not keeping up
                     Next act from Jimmy's Little Weird Theater 
                     Being ass to the wall quiet 

 New People with Guns:
                     Paranoid bar flies
                     Snow gnats
                     Bandleaders on the run
                     Elderly, beware The Toileting Nazis
                     Hoarders of the apocalypse
                     Natural resource hunters
 All Quiet on the Floor Above:
                     Oh, that's just Mrs. Walkover 
                     They bought a new shag
                     Oh say, can you hear...
                     We all take steps of weirdness 
                     They're flying Buddhists
                     What happened to the flying Zambinis?
 Things You Can Always Have:
                      That burning sensation
                      Unbridled passion
                      Smoky downstairs clubs 

 Surprising Things You Don't Care About:
                      Virgin sax 
                      The worm that gnaws at envy
                      Eleven dimensional party mix
                      Differently abledness
                      Watching your sugars 
                      Smart energy - flaming faucets
                      Dark energy - vanishing universe
                      Jibes at large eared leadership 
                      Desiring deeper, hotter meaning 
                      Someone else's head trip  
                      Someone else's home U Tubing 
                      Someone else's tubing video

 Things You're Willing to Surrender:
                        Passion with a bridle 
 Excuses for Having a Great Time:
                        Snow angels gone wild
                        Spot cream
                        Jumping over a red bull 
                        Bare sterns 
                        Costume defects 
                        Spring - forward
                        Fall up

 Marching Band:
                        That squishy sensation
                        Guard Right
                        Musical Chairs
                        Jocks and musical supporters
                        Majorette ambition
                        OK, Sandy Bottom from the top 
Cheerleader who doesn’t smoke, drink or get high
                        Ray, rah ree, hit em in the knee 
                        Ray, rah, rass, hit em in the other knee 

 Anybody Speak:
                        Anything besides cyber pidgin?
                        Wrath, Greed, Sloth, Pride, Lust, Envy & Gluttony?
                        Cyber sax?
                        Red, Black, White and Pale?
                        Noetic science?
                        Shore wood?
 Things not to name nuclear reactors:
                        Wormwood, absinth
                        Three... like on a match 
                        Anything beginning with fuk... 
                        Blow, glow, melt, hot, China
                        After heavy metals, Pluto, or Uranus 
                        Lois Bidder, Piper Leaky  


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