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Another Splotched Ink Poetry Session
(Interactive research material for people who have never
written a poem
and maybe shouldn't. The links (to be added) will take you to something similar that I did write. More links are being added as NaPoMo progresses.)
Brought to you by Tech-Wad Prophesy...
When you need a predictable outcome.
Things you or I may or may not write about this year include:
The Doomsday News:
Official news will rely entirely on rumor and innuendo.
Just another Y2K day in paradise.
How's your climate theory coming along?
Did someone yell fire in the global theater?
Swamp land will be more valuable after the catastrophe.
Everything's going to change, even the desert.
Cash now, Mac, credit has no future.
In utopia you won't need money, just guts, drive and looks.
These glasses will help you see what's coming.
I hear God will take over the Internet.
World peace could be the next new technology.
So, this is 2012, I can't believe it, it's 2012!
Have you bought your early winter ascension outfit?
There's a sale at Gown and Raiment, 20%off!
I heard there'll be nothin' but fish and rice.
If history comes to an end will we be tested on it.
Are you prepared for polyphiloprogenitive take over?
What if there's no more toilet paper?
What do you call it when everybody shows up and does
something weird? The rapture.
The next war will be fought over mystics and women.
Let's party like it's fifth night before Xmas
...and now, for the blurred, jumpy phone-cam news
Y'know, I'm twenty-twelved out, give it a rest, huh?
How do you go on after you thought it wouldn't?
First, you get over your hangover.
Could you get online, today?
Hey, turn that down, we're trying to ascend in here.
Shows we'd like to see:
Big Bong Years
I Used To Be In The Band
Photo Shopped Dating
Re-run of the Dead
Haunted House Jackpot
Hoards: Garbage Bullies
Healthy Release Video
Two and a Half Quatrains
Cavalcade of Lonesome Lyricists
Sketching with Both Hands
Internet Anatomy Explorer
One's Trunk is Another's Booty
Steam Bag Round the Bend
Cougars Gone Wild
The Screaming Show
Belly Button Makeover
Broken Heart Litigants
Love Crazed Chair Throwing
Rash in my Mustache
Good Lookin' Cookin'
Turn Junk into Crap
What's Your Hobby?
Pranks Gone Terribly Wrong
Fric and Frac on Medication
Dueling for Doughnuts
Coupon Clipping Over the Edge
Extreme Dumpster Adventure
Catastrodamus Global Market Effects
Green is actually a color
Accent the glycemic revolution
Overlapping Burlap and Muslin
Getting Married at the local Slurp and Burp
Multi-trillion-dollar yard sale
Wrapped in mantles of grandeur (Ed Rollins)
Dress for Middle-age Morality
Just get dressed
Lose the Caboose Month
Throw It Out Month
Keep It In Your Pocket Month
Take A Different Tact Month
Back Up Slowly Month
Cold Case of Beer Month
Recycle Hair Clippings Month
Life's a Bleep Month
Vocative Correctness, like wow Month
Occupy This / Catchy Slogans:
Get rid of all your money
Throw gold coins in the fountain
Occupy Ghost Towns
More Teachers than students
Associate new facts with old facts
Forget old facts
Don't invest in other people's pockets
The Brain Wreck Old 99
The China Solyndrome
Prevent Global Chocolate Meltdown
Get Back Under the Bus
Three Most Important things:
Cookies, Milk and your insignificant other.
What you want, where to get it, how to download
What you want, when it's ready, how to beg
Forgiveness, banishment, disguises
Live for yourself, create allure, learn to fight
Captain Tony: looks, ego, sex drive
Churchill: beaches, fields, rubble
Face Book: Pets, Pix, Snacks
New Poets: Rhyme, Reason, Boogie
The New Oil: Solar, Wind, Geo-Thermal
Energy Crisis: Rowers, Pull Gangs and Van Chairs
Unemployment: Rowers, Pull Gangs and Van Chairs
The New Recognition: Shame, Glory, Success
New National day of:
Local Goddess Appreciation
Thanks Pizza Day
Wild Hair Day
National Phone Off Day
No Advertising Day
Doom and Gloom Observance Day
Tantric Sax Day
Darwin Awards Day
Day of Moaning
Self Help Books:
Be Ignored by Feigning Emptiness
Learning to Fly without Going Fowl
St. John's Wort: Reversing Negativity
Perfecting an Alien Invader Calm
The Art of Dressing Down
Heartbreak of E-mail Rejection
Flooding: Patterns of Denial
Return to Make-believe
Dealing with off-world conspiracy
Don't Look at me Like I'm Texture
Grow Your Own Cosmetics
Grouping Off Grid
Learning to be Mental Retentive
Cure Sick Buildings with Dirt
Getting Rid of Junk Thought
The New Degeneration
Empires for Dolts
I am NOT my E-mail
Improve Your Thousand Yard Stare
Importance of Shoe Waving
Learning to Say "Illogical"
Perfecting the Perfect Re-gift
Tooting Your Own Whistle
Store Requirements: Shirt, Shoes, Dead Calm
Sleep Hygiene: What if the TV is for sex?
How to Live with Doomsday Predictions
The Uterus and Male Stupidity (part 1, Greeks)
The Uterus and Male Stupidity (part 2, Victorians)
The Uterus and Male Stupidity (part 3, Surgeons)
Negative Emotions: Trillion Dollar Industry
Scratch and Sniff, the First Language
G Summits, a No Exit Existentialism
Exploring "uh", the Power-up Reset Response
Suspended Judgment, the Story of Hmmm
Public Demeanor: Taking the Cake of
Self-humiliation to the Bakery Shop Window
Tales of the Shameful and Glorious
If Men Gave Birth (caution, graphic imagery)
Welcoming the Next Billion Newcomers
The End of Gold
Who Killed the Flying Car?
Inside the Drafting Room (viewer discretion)
Interview with Buttinski (a screaming show)
Never Ending Days: Defensive Witnesses
End of Days: What Next?
Hu is a Chinese name.
©Jimmy Warner Design, 2013
See photos of
2000 - 2008