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Virginia Poet,
Jimmy Warner's


Internet Poetry Zine, Richmond, VA

challenging, edgy, twisty, turny writing for the should-ought-a-be's


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© 2014



APRIL 2014

National Poetry Month

Another Ink Spurt Poetry Session

                                Ink Sessions Index revised: things I didn't write (2001- 2013)

 (Interactive research material for people who have never written a poem
 and maybe shouldn't. The links (to be added) will take you to something
 similar that I did write. More links are being added as NaPoMo progresses.)

Brought to you by Sneaky Leaks - when
you need to ghost a finger into your dam.

Let our guys help your guys with ink spurt recovery.

 Things you or I may or may not write about this year include:

 Doomsday/Biblical News 2014:

    Damascus Ruinous Heap
    Mission creep gone wild
Not dead enough? - Couple Shot 137 times
    Let me detain you while I pat you up
    Republicans hold congress hostage for 17 days
    Mystery food not inspected yet
    Saw-horse farms in demand
    Couldn't get online? - There's a penalty for that
    Forgot to sign up? -  There's a penalty for that
    Can't prove who you are? - There's a penalty for that
    Didn't provide proof of income? - There's a penalty for that
    Don't understand these forms? - There's a penalty for that
    Trusting websites w/ personal info? - There's a penalty for that
    Modern Dark
    Floating with the far-fetched
    Latest garbage Jire
    The Halls of Extinction
  This Just In:

    Anti-rapture movement fighting back
    Implants are not Sci-Fi
    Men in black ARE the aliens 
    Bravo Hotel Whiskey Fox Trot  Dumpster is full
    Congressional rant: The shutdown made me do it.
    Mantles of glory found in doomster dumpster
    The 24 Billion went up Moby Dick's blow hole
    Tea Party dumped more than tea off ship of state
    Same ole tune from kick-the-can alley promised
    Number of adults in the room questioned
    Retirement will now be triaged
 Shows we'd like to see:

   The Weedy Brush Man
   Suppose the hokey pokey IS what it's all about?
    Planet of the Apps
    Alien lawn contaminants - The Cover-up
    Einstein/Rosen bridge trolls gone berserk
    Leaving a small town - Bravo Sierra Farewell
    Friendly fire - underage kids with lighters
    Smoke and mirrors - mastering bathroom photography
    The Joy of Fainting
 Scandalous Shows:

    Eye Popping Experience  
    Celebrity tweets gone pathological
    Six people in search of a "screamin' show"
    Who I did it with on my summer vacation
    Bedrooms Unbound - updated every 30 minutes
    Wax my golf cart
    Empire Strip
    Taking Your Meltdown on the Road
    Celebrity golf undercover
    You Can Take the F-Bomber Out of the Child but...
    Who You Gonna Sue? 
    Game show challenge - Snarfle the car fax
    Pastacide! - Bunga-Bunga Spaghetti Cook Off

    Recreational drugs on the rise - slidenafil, tadalafil
    Spot future Republicans monopolizing the school yard.
    The bully public - Loyalty Scorned Shames
     $50 in plumbing parts can cost thousands to install 
    Why mostly predators read blogs
    Don't shred it, compost it in the green shredder
    Sulfur prevents mold, the kind that bugs love to eat 
    Momentum doesn't prevent 'em from gaining omentum
    Welcome to future world - Detroit  
    Nouveau Swampland - Underwater Mortgage Co.
    The Fuzzy Pink Line on the Weather Board 

 Quotable quote: From the film "Contagion"

     "Blogging is not writing, it's graffiti with punctuation."

From ancient alien theorist and spouse:
     You're going where? Saxay Womán. No you're not.

From Naked and Sun Speckled:
     First time in the wild, endangered beings

From Talk Shows: Unlimited Mouth, Mouths Without Borders

Tales of the Bump Ass Bar and Grill:
     "Creature Sighting from the Bloggy Lagoon"
      Bar band features the "Faux Fly Fishermen"
      Sunday sermon this week, "The Digits are Blinking"

Before there were music downloads: Parlor Tricks


     Bleeping the Message
    The Art of the Capital Car Chase
     Speed Death not Sci-Fi anymore
     Little Sex Shop on the Prairie
     Invisible Ink - websites no one will ever see
     Hole in One - Gulf Tour Organ Theft  
    Too Many Cooks spoil the fundraiser
     Recollecting My Inner Soda Fountain 
     Retirement - The Golden Toilet
     How my video went t
oo far, depending on who you talk to
     Death of a Sales Rep
     E-R Tales, Making it up on the Fly
     My scar's cooler than Your scar
     Starve a tooth, feed a dentist


    Rain-forest wrap-around
    Give us Salonpas wear 
    Splendor with extra grass
    Fake Gold - the new alchemy
    New Fabrics from sticks to weed
    The season teaches all who laugh
    Fashion statement - essential nudity
    Try on my new hat
    What do you drive?
    Dress for the Throne
    What kind of shoes are those? "Wear-Ever"
    Where do you get them? "Where ever you can"
    Bring back the fuchsia hair-doo ninja babe
    Just air-brush me
    I want a catastrophe bubble I can live in
    Make me blend in with the bankrupt  
    Whatever happened to the hair shirt?

 Experimental Films:

    Hitching Naked with a Red Chihuahua
    Pirandello Lives
    Keep shooting until I say cut
    What was left in shot?
    Who left that mic open?
    I said kaleidoscopically not colonoscopy
    Vulcan Logic Scorns
    Films on subjects film makers don't understand 
    Exploring inner NOIR
    Disasters gone nordo, speculation over the edge
    Observation disappearance, conclusion ALIENS
    Viral home video off the grid
    Between a fern and a dark place
    Potted Plant, Microphone and Radiant Darkness
    What to shoot when there's nothing to shoot
    Film School brats video their wildest parties
    Night Vision - catchers gone awry
    Rebuilding the Ordo Templi Orientis
The Cruelest Months:

    Aw Goosed
    Septic Member  
    Hock Timber
    No Ender
    Dead Ember
    DIY Calendars

 New National days:

    Strip Spin-the-Bottle Day
    Climate Change Denial Day
    Stopper-A-Bunghole Day
    Mental Vacation Day
    Debt Ceiling Day
    Shat Over a Cliff Day
    Deny Allegations Day
    Bash Cruise Ships Day
    Support Your Local Fugitive Fridays Crusade
    Life Itself Day
    It's not OK to be OK with stuff that's not OK...Day
this was not shopped or faked, and not for sale
 Vatican Humor:

    BVM appears to cold sufferers 
    Requiem for Toot, Whistle and Other Blowers
    Alien Relics Revealed - Cone Head Sculls!
    How many clowns can fit in that car?
    Angels are really extraterrestrials that fly in things
    Why would God worry about my birth control?
    Should I be concerned over the rumor Jesus killed someone?
    How many monks does it take to recover x-files from the library?
    Measurements for Olympic sized god shelf, 3x3, 10x12, Primes only?
    The quandary of the saving symbol
    Pre-tribulation, post-tribulation, what's a prepper to do?
    Converting the extraterrestrials, something for God to do. 

Pet Names for Crashed Websites:

    My website has gone air hag
    "                                    " dot-gov
    "                                    " over the verizon
    "                                    " Canadian
    "                                    " Finnish
    "                                    " area rug
    "                                    " healthcare
    "                                    " post apocalyptic
    "                                    " pickles on toast
    My website is not dead, just away
    My website is a comedy of errors
    My website is a recovering 404
    My website is a tribute to St. Catherine
    It's just a website, Jim

 Self Help Books:

    How 2 write a letter to yourself
    How 2 make a sponge on a stick
    Other uses for sticks
    Where to get a stick
    What is a stick?
    Sticks for Dolts
    Does that come with a stick?
    What do I do with the stick afterwards?
    How 2 make elephant piñatas that walk on solo cups
    German Lesson: That Awful German, by Mark Twain
    Feathered Flute and Lesson Book
    Shamans shout timber, go hypnotic 
    To Hurt is Human, to Spurt Devine
    How gait and swagger improve your self  importance
    Why TV is all about murders, fears and games, oh my
    How to avoid BS in the media,  send a message...
    Tweeting Etiquette for Dolts
    Paul Klee's Twittering Machine
    Bar Files Uncorked
    Sex Gods of Madison Avenue
    PUP: Practically Unneeded Product
    Un-pent-up Penthouse Compendium (pulp or video)
    How to fuel the mind with lack of information?
    Conspiracist's Hand Book: "An Eye For Connections"
   New Slogans:

    Red Solo vs. Hand Blown
    With an Alien Eye Stare
    Blog This!
    Fugitive Fridays
    "Debt Ceiling" was Invented by Journalists
    Economists Don't Have Ceilings
    But they're always looking up, sky's the Limit 
    Sci-Fi Soul
    Please Don't Dent De Car (tho you may drive it far from me)
    I Got The Tea Party Heaves
    Google Republic
    "Look, eye-wad, I'm not a painting!" she said.
    Bravo Sierra
    What could you do with 24 billion?
    Is "The  Public" a bygone delusion?
    Public awareness has been replaced by "Go Fish"

 Names For Cruise Ships:

          The Boca Leon
          The Noro Vomidore
          The Costa Salvagerina
          The Fun Decked Hoopty-Doo
          The Gangway Thunderoso
          The Turn Turtle  
          The Water Under the Bridge
          The Big Band Wailer
          The Marimba Limbo
          The Captain Phillips
          The Nordo Carpathian   
          The Fleet and Leeward 
          The Windward and Burnedside
          The Torrent of the Sea 
          The Window Beneath Our Things
          The Blonde Ballerina
          The Wake of the Party
          The Pantry Del Mar
          The Moby Conundrum 
          The Ass Ache of the Sea
          The Neptune Areola 
 Social Documentaries:
    The Girl Next Door is Eternal
    Eternal is beyond most people's concepts
    "The Meaning of Life" is a trophy shelf
    Failure "of imagination" is more like "of anticipation"
    Life well planned is "not running out of toilet paper"
    When You End Up Pickled Butterbeans on Toast
    But You're Happy That you have Butterbeans and
    Can Still Make Toast 
    Punic Victories for Fun and Profit

  Eclectic Interest - Articles on:

    Spring Truth
    The painting speaks to me
    Wiener Tweets
    Nibiru Tee Shirts
    A Bird of the Air
    Exploring Inner Bad
    The Annular Ring of a Blow Hole
    The annual ringing of the leaf blower
    Hypothetical Reasons for Anything Hypothetical
    A Dead Creature that Moves by Itself
    Explaining Bizarre Dreams    
    To the young life is a joke, to the old, a different joke.
    Back to the land of my dorkhood by Angelo Bagawalnuts
    A dead cat bounce measured by Richter
    Brain-gate: area 25 

History lesson: made very simple
   Shrewd military nobles and slave traders
   Replaced by
   Shrewd Capitalist CEOs
   Replaced by
   Shrewd relativistic astrophysicists

   ice cream lid found on studio floor           
  Galactic Obsessions: 
                      It Splatters What You Think or Do

      Paying thousands of dollars for accidental sacred
      images that appear on toast and other objects bends
      the ideals of found art (especially since it's so easy
      to fake, now days).

      I had to learn those ideals the hard way by
      removing the lid tab, the only proof that it was ever
      an ice cream lid. But, I was 28 and at the height of
      my absurdity not to mention broke and hopeless.

      To the ARTS overall, that would be irrelevant.

      Of course my pre-Hubble image on an ice cream lid
      is the real thing - I wouldn't lie about a found object
      that I made accidentally on my studio floor. No Way.  



Align Your Natural Energies

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