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SHOCKOE READER .COM

Internet Poetry Zine, Richmond, VA

challenging, edgy, gutsy, turgid writing for the naughty aughties

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November  2009


forty years ago today

MO GRATE RECORDS
from Vol. 6, (Record Gig) 2004

Shockoe live - Jimmy Warner
Zen Calm followed by Record Gig

You save all your gig money for a one shot deal.

Make a hit single over the holiday weekend!

You put aside enough for this fantastic opportunity.

Mo Grate records has agreed to take your money

And make you into a famous recording band.

 

You are so hot, so cool to be there, hittin, man.

You are down tight with it, stone picnic wild, dude.

Never-mind you rode all night from hay-Ville piled

In the back of a station wagon asleep sitting up,

High on what you think fame in the big cityís like.

 

Of course, you have no idea,

They havenít finished with you yet,

They havenít gotten to you yet

They havenít done their number on you yet.

They havenít turned you into little donkeys yet.

They havenít introduced you to the talent coordinator

Whose day job is undertaker.

They havenít sent you to the Chez Crotch motel

For a week in the Bubble Machine room.

They havenít told you how soft they want you to play.

 

You havenít had to blast for a biker convention

And entertain barefoot rockers on broken glass

Getting their knobs waxed in rhythm to your music,

Or watch the entire bar, and everything that isnít

Nailed down disappearing out the front door

And out into the street where the party doesnít stop

But keeps going for days and days while you

Try to keep from losing your ax, your gear, your car,

Your girlfriend, everything you own, and of course,

That insignificant, stupid little thing you call your life.

 

The recording deal comes with unwritten horrors

Things no one in their right mind would dream

Of doing let alone thinking it might come to pass.

Biblical scenes from Godís worst hair day, going on

Before your naked eyes, theft, lightening, murder. (?)

When did you ever think you might drown face down

In six inches of overflowing beer, in a lake of beer?

 

Why would you even pay for this?

I happen to know for a fact they've already

Erased half your record by mistake.
 

©Jimmy Warner 2011

 

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